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Pakistan v/s Myanamar

Kiran Bedi declares Vision ofr Delhi - Arnab to go

Within 24 hours of being declared BJP's Chief Ministerial candidate, Kiran Bedi has laid out her vision for Delhi.

Besides focus on security for women and fight against corruption, Kiran Bedi has declared, to thunderous applause,  that in case she is elected as the CM, she will ensure that Arnab is gagged forever. "Delhi and India has long suffered the noise pollution created by Arnab and BJP is committed to fight this pollution in a forceful manner"

"Noise pollution is a very strong part of our agenda. We cannot allow the mindless screaming and shouting that goes on in the studios. This is also the main reason so many young people attempt suicide as a last resort. This man is destroying the peaceful and tolerant fabric of our society and needs to be top priority for our administration" she said.

The peace and security in Delhi is at stake and we must do everything possible to protect this. The threat is bigger than international terrorism. You should see the fear created in the minds of senior politicians like Meenakshi Lekhi and Manish Tiwari to understand the gravity of the matter. You should see the way he is terrorizing everybody she said.  

As per last survey reports, Kiran Bedi's popularity zoomed past the 60% mark after having declared war on Arnab. 

Kejriwal refers to BJP as Aam Aadmi Party's B team

Coming our strongly against the recent spat of former AAP supporters and members rushing to the BJP camp, Arvind Kejriwal was quick to remind the media that the BJP was infact AAP's B team.

With Kiran Bedi and Shazia Ilmi joining the BJP in recent days, the AAP leader has come in for a flak from his detractors. However Kejriwal expressed confidence that this is a short deputation to the B team before they regain form and come back to play in the main team.

He went on to remind the reporters of how Suresh Raina was dropped from the cricket team only to score well in the B team before making his return to the main team.

Arvind Kejriwal was reminded by our reporter that the confidence of the supporters could get effected if more stars deserted ship at this critical time to which he responded with "Ek minute.... ek minute..... ek minute.... cough"

Sonia orders a CBI probe

In a scathing attack on Team Anna, the president of the Congress party has ordered a CBI probe into allegations that 15 ministers from the union ministry are corrupt.

The allegations have apparently not gone down well with the leadership of the Congress party who feel let down by this meager score. In a country where corruption is an indicator of a party's power and performance, many congress leaders feel that this puts the party in an awkward position in comparison with the opposition.

"The country must not forget that we gave them some of the biggest scams in the country" said one senior leader on conditions of anonymity.  The 2G scam is something we have developed independently and can take full credit for he went on to add. 

One of the Congress party leaders had promised to bring out a white paper to show a much larger list of ministers in the union cabinet who he believes can claim credit to at least 1 scam of 10 crores each. Team Anna members are a bunch of corrupt people, the leader alleged. They have attempted to cover up some of the scams by our ministers thus showing us in poor light he alleged. Nobody can mislead this great nation and I am sure we can convince the nation that the number of corrupt ministers is far larger than the alleged 15 and may include the entire cabinet". 

Sonia Gandhi was not available for further comment.


Don't believe us. We told you so. The Times of Andaa... news with a twist!!

Mamata cartoon case withdrawn

After an impromptu celebration on Park Street, it is believed that West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee has given instructions to withdraw all cases against the recently arrested professor from Jadavpur University.

Kolkata's street were covered in a glorious purple as KKR supporters stormed the streets of the city after  a magnificent win in Chennai. The people of Kolkata were out on the streets celebrating the historic win that finally brings back the IPL trophy to the home of cricket.

In an apparent and well calculated move to impress her supporters, our sources confirm that Mamata Bannerjee has given instructions to withdraw all cases against professor Abhikesh Mahapatra with immediate effect.

It is understood that this move has not gone down well with the leadership of the CPM who will now call a bandh in Kolkata tomorrow.

Didi O didi

Khaled Hadj Ibrahim better known as singer Khaled may have never imagined that his famous song Didi would have got such a huge shot in the arm as so many years. Apparently Khaled's song Didi has hit the top of the charts across most countries in the world and is a trending topic on fire on Twitter.

It all started after West Bengal fiery Didi took strong exception to an ugly cartoon (which does not even look like a cartoon) by a poor wannabe cartoonist. Apparently she was so upset that she screamed " I am didi, I am didi" followed by an Algerian war dance.

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Congress accuses Anna of upstaging

Accusing Team Anna of "practising an extreme form of intolerance", Abhishek Singhvi, senior Congress leader and chairman of the Parliamentary panel on Lokpal, said that Anna and his team will treading into dangerous territory.

He went of to remind the journalists that this form of intolerance is in fact the sole domain of the Congress party and that by taking the path of intolerance, Anna Hazare was making an attempt to upstage the Congress party.

"None of this is surprising. As usual and true to form Team Anna is practising an extreme form of intolerance, which must be condemned as this is a personal attack on the Congress Party" Singvi said.

"This is most unfortunate and regrettable," said Singhvi who is also an eminent lawyer and spokesperson of Congress.

His remarks came close on the heels of Anna Hazare's attack on the Committee for its "weak report" on the eve of his day-long fast.

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In a huge relief to Air India, the govt has intervened and agreed to bail out Air India.

This, however, on condition that its air hostesses cut extra flag and shape up at the earliest. The Civil Aviation minister said that Air India air hostesses would require a lot restructuring from within to improve their abilities and maneuverability.

The last time I traveled by Air India, the air hostesses struggled to scrap down the aisle. I hope this will help to reduce the girth and better movements through the aisles.

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Bhuka Naan is out - grilled and burnt

So we have come a full circle.

According to informed sources, KKR coach was literally pushed out of a running train by SRK after the team suffered a thorough humiliation. The coach has been sacked.

I wonder what happens next?

The real story here.

Kolkata Kite Fliers not for sale

After a couple of days of strong speculation that the team was up for sale, SRK has laid to rest all discussions on the subject.

Although Shah Rukh Khan is depressed, unhappy and extremely dissatisfied with the performance of his team Kolkata Kite Fliers, he has confessed that the sale of the team has not crossed his mind yet.

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Pak's nukes are in safe hands now: PM

Even as the world remains nervous about the conflicts within the nuclear armed Pakistan, prime minister M M Singh assured everybody that Pakistan's nuclear weapons are in safe hands 'as of now'



Based on the statement, the rumours doing the rounds indicate that the prime minister himself may have taken over control of the nukes. Or may be even moved them into his own back yard in Delhi. Some analysts observe high level of activity around the PM's house, with armoured trucks making deliveries to the PM's residence.



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Varun Gandhi released

Varun Gandhi was released on bail for 2 weeks on the orders of the Supreme Court so that he could contest the Lok Sabha elections.

Varun Gandhi was released after he 'god promised' Mayawatiji that he will be a good boy and that he would not do anything naughty. It is believed that Mayawatiji was moved when she heard about how Varun cried on not being allowed to see his mother while in jail. Mayawatiji had wanted to prove that she felt a 'mothers pain' after she was accused by Maneka. Maneka Gandhi had earlier said that "if Mayawati was a mother she would have understood my pain!"

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Laloo demands re-poll

Laloo Yadav has demanded re polling in his Saran constituency alleging that Dalits and people of depressed sections were prevented from voting in several areas.Apparently the constituents who were prevented from voting have now been threatened to return the vote money that was paid to them by Laloo. Being the shrewd businessman that he is, Laloo was quick to notice the drop in cost to earning ratio and which is believed to be the main reason for this outburst. According to sources who requested not to be identified, Laloo is now planning to stage a rasta rokho agitation till repolls are held.

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Sonia: Advani is a slave of RSS

Congress president Sonia Gandhi on Wednesday tore into the BJP for denouncing Prime Minister Manmohan Singh as a "weak Prime Minister" and launched a blistering counter attack against the saffron party’s prime ministerial candidate L.K. Advani, ridiculing him for being a "slave of the RSS" who is "incapable of taking any decision on his own".

She was apparently extremely upset about comments made about her own slave and an apparent attempt at going one up against the weak Prime Minister. "Advani is a slave of the RSS because he wants to protect his chair," she said.

"Our definition of a strong leader is different from the BJP’s. Our strong leader asks the president for advice on everything and dares not do anything without the explicit approval of 10, Janpath" she said.

The real story here